The Love Nest

Relationship "Milepebbles"

August 30, 2019

Carla Swiryn

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Founder at DateSpot

It's easy to celebrate the big moments in a relationship...the first kiss, becoming exclusive, first time you have sex, meeting the parents, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby. Not that all great relationships have to include all of that, or be in that order, of course. Although these big events can be stressful, they’re generally super fun and exciting. But what about the little wins - should we honor those?

Heck yes! Just because a moment is small doesn’t mean it’s insignificant. We can and should be happy and proud of the baby steps along the way of our relationship journey. So maybe we don’t call them milestones -- we call them “milepebbles”.

Eleven is the first number where there is a pair next to each other. So in the spirit of a partner pair, let’s think of eleven milepebble examples...

  1. First time you hold hands -- signifying that real chemistry exists
  2. You leave a toothbrush at their place (or vice versa)
  3. Going social media public - a.k.a. “Instafficial”, and probably a bit later, even changing your relationship status on Facebook if it was “single” before
  4. Meeting one of their friends
  5. Your first fight -- be proud of communicating or compromising to move past it, and know you might be stronger because of it
  6. When they intro you as their girlfriend/boyfriend
  7. Discussing something extremely intimate, vulnerable, and painful for you
  8. Your first vacation -- which really allows you to get to know each other better, especially through some challenge
  9. Having sex and then not needing to snuggle or be intimate afterwards -- there’s a baseline of trust and comfort already
  10. Reading a passage in your journal to them
  11. Farting in the same room without the other person caring or mentioning it -- they’ll love you anyway!

And even if a relationship ends, we can still appreciate the milepebbles that relationship took. As Carrie Bradshaw of Sex in the City said: “Some love stories aren't epic novels. Some are short stories, but that doesn't make them any less filled with love.” Those short love stories have moments of glory, too, that can be looked back on with the appreciation of how we felt at that time, no matter what happened afterwards. We’re grateful for the good time at that time.

Each relationship is going to have its own milepebbles at its own pace, and the significance and feeling you get is deeply personal. People don’t feel the same way about the same instances. The important thing is to allow yourself to recognize when these moments occur, be happy in whatever state you’re at, and allow the journey to unfold naturally.

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